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[personal profile] kelios
Every time we start from the beginning, I ask myself: which is more painful, watching the first time with no idea what was coming, or re-watching with full knowledge of just how bad it's going to get? I can never decide.

There is so much hope in the early seasons. Supernatural has always been dark and relatively bleak, but the hope in Sam's voice when he says "I gotta find Dad" is heartbreaking. And Dean...he believes he'll be able to keep Sam safe even tho part of him also believes he'll fail because that's the way he's built. Sam believes they'll save Dean from Hell, they believe they can protect the seals, they believe they can stop Lucifer.

Now...now every season, every episode just feels like despair. They are going through the motions. They can't settle down, because TGDAs and demons won't let them. They can't save people and hunt things, because TGDAs and demons won't let them. They can't even DIE because if they do, TGDAS (heaven) and demons (hell) will be waiting with malicious glee to tear them apart when they arrive.

(BTW, this is another reason I don't like 9.01. Sam KNOWS that they are on heaven's shitlist, yet he wants to die and make sure Dean can't bring him back? I mean, what? Does he miss the Cage or something? Such bad writing and plotting.)

I can't imagine how they get up and keep moving every day, except fear of what will happen if they don't--and each other. They must be so bonecrushingly tired, mentally and physically. My heart aches for them, every episode. And now the show wants to take the one good thing they have (each other) away from them. It breaks my heart, and not in the good way.
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