Through a Glass Darkly

[kelios]

Title: Through a Glass Darkly
Author: Kelios
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Dean Winchester/Dean Forester, past Sam/Dean
Warnings: explicit m/m sex, angst and general sadness
Length: longish story
Summary: After Dean drops Sam at the bus stop for Stanford, he meets Dean Forester, who bears an uncanny resemblence to his brother.
A/N: Written for the prompt Supernatural/Gilmore Girls, Dean/Dean, bus, unexpected meeting

 

For just a split second, Dean thinks it's Sam, thinks his brother came back.  He's on his feet, huge smile forming on his face--and then the guy looks right past him.

"Sam?" Dean says uncertainly, his smile fading, and that gets the kid's attention.

"Excuse me?" he says, and Christ, even the voice is the same.  All Dean can do is stare, because seriously, what the hell?

"Sorry, I thought you were--" my brother, Dean almost says, then changes it to "a friend of mine.  I dropped him off here awhile ago."

"Oh," the guy says politely.  He looks around, obviously about to leave, and suddenly Dean can't bear to let him go. 

"Hey, you...you want to get a drink?  There's a decent bar a couple of blocks down, and the food's not bad."  Dean gives the kid his best smile to cover up his babbling, and nods toward the Impala.  "I'm Dean, by the way."

The guy smiles for the first time and laughs.  "I'm Dean, too," he says.  His eyes linger on Dean's face and his smile widens.  "Food sounds great, Dean--though maybe you should call me Drew, that's my middle name."  He laughs again, and Dean's heart breaks, just a little, because it's Sam and it's not and Dean's afraid it never will be again.

The bar is noisy and crowded, so they sit close, knees touching under the table as they knock back beer and eat greasy bar food and talk about random...stuff.  When a pool table opens up, Dean challenges Drew to a game and shows off, making trick shots at impossible angles, and the kid seems genuinely impressed.  He asks Dean to help him with a shot, looking at him shyly from under his bangs to gauge Dean's reaction, and Dean sucks in a breath and nods. 

He presses up against him, legs and hips and back so familiar and warm and can't help turning his face into Drew's neck and breathing deep.  He feels Drew shiver under his hands and rock back against him tentatively, then harder when he feels Dean's reaction.  They finish the shot, and by unspoken agreement abandon the table in favor of settling the bill and heading out. 

When they get to the Impala, Drew stops, looking at Dean awkwardly.  "I, uh..." he starts, blushing a little as he stares at Dean, and Dean takes pity on him and pulls him down into a gentle kiss.  The kid melts against him, pushing Dean back against the car and cradling Dean's face in his huge hands, and God, Dean's not sure he can do this without breaking into a million pieces.

They part reluctantly for air, and the dazed expression on Drew's face makes Dean smile.  "I've got a room," he offers, and Drew is sliding into the Impala almost before the words are out of his mouth.  It's a short drive, thankfully, because Dean's completely distracted by the tent in the kid's jeans and how his eyes are huge and luminous in the dim light.

Inside the room, Dean pushes Drew against the wall and kisses him slowly and thoroughly.  The kid groans, head falling back against the wall as Dean opens his jeans and pulls out his cock.  It's huge, and beautiful, just like Sam, and Dean can't wait.  "Want to taste you," Dean says, voice low and heated, and Drew groans again when Dean drops to his knees.

"Yeah," he breathes, "yeah, been thinking about this all night..."  He cups Dean's jaw in his huge hand, thumb running over Dean's lips as he stares down at him.  Dean doesn't look away as he opens his mouth, let's Drew guide him to the head of his cock.  Drew pushes in slowly, eyes fluttering when Dean makes no move to stop him.  Dean let's Drew fuck his mouth, closing his eyes and just feeling Sammy with every thrust and gasp and moan and he damn near comes untouched when Drew gasps his name and shoots hot and sweet down his throat.

They make their way to the bed slowly, shedding their clothes and shoes on the way, and now Dean knows for sure that this is not his Sam.  There are muscles, sure, but not like Sam's, and there are no familiar scars on his skin or calluses on the hands that trace Dean's body reverently as he pushes Drew down onto the bed. 

"Dean.  Dean!" Drew gasps as Dean slides two slick fingers into him and Christ, Dean loves that sound.  He twists his fingers, hitting Drew's sweet spot and opening him up slowly, so slowly as Drew twists and writhes underneath him.  Dean doesn't respond to Drew's cries except to kiss him again, afraid to speak for fear of what he might say.  "Oh, God, Dean, now please," Drew gasps, and Dean moans, 'cause it's so fucking hot when Sammy begs.

Dean eases his fingers out slowly, slapping Drew's ass lightly when he chases them, and pulls on a condom.  He bites down on Drew's neck as he pushes in, so goddamn good, and he's concentrating so hard on Drew, not Sam, Drew  that it takes him by surprise when Drew's hands engulf his face and the kid kisses him desperately, moaning underneath him, "Say something, my name, his name I don't care, just....please..."   and Dean shudders.  "Sam," he whispers, and the force of his orgasm shatters his heart into a thousand pieces.

Afterwards, Dean can't look at Drew, horrified that he used him like that, but Drew doesn't seem to mind.  He's actually curious about his twin, as he calls Sam, and agrees the resemblence is uncanny when Dean shows him a picture.  They talk, and fuck, and maybe sleep just a little, til Dean's alarm goes off at 7 am because he forgot to turn it off.  Drew laughs and says he has to get going anyway. 

Dean drags Drew into the shower, then back to bed for another round of sex, and another shower and then breakfast and he hates himself a little for being so needy.  He can tell Drew knows what's going on, and finally the kid pulls away from him.  "I gotta go, Dean," he says, and Dean drives him back to the bus stop, his hands shaking at the thought of saying goodbye all over again. 

In the terminal, Drew pulls Dean in for a slow, heated kiss, and Dean leans into him, savoring his warmth and the way he tastes like coffee and syrup, just like Sam used to on lazy Sunday mornings.  When they call Drew's bus, Dean hands him a small piece of paper.  "Call me when you get a chance," he says, staring over Drew's shoulder, but Drew hands it back.  "I don't think so, Dean," he says gently, and Dean's fists clench at the thought of losing even this.  "Please," he forces out, like he couldn't do with Sam, but Drew shakes his head and walks away.

Comments

[queenklu.livejournal.com]

*SNIFF* DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAN!!!

Gah, i have such a weak spot for the fics where Dean's fucking someone else and thinking of Sam, double goodies when they actually LOOK like Sam!

XD

[psychedelicammo.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the link. This is fantastic, and so sad. Dean's so down and desperate, I'm sure that'd be hard to resist, but Dean (Forester) knows the score. Now I just want to find Dean a Sammy plushie to cuddle with on cold nights D:.

[kelios.livejournal.com]

It is sad. I was very angry at Sam for leaving Dean in this state when I wrote this lol. I'm glad you liked it :)