kelios

I thought I'd make a rec list for the Big Bangs for this year. Please keep in mind that I LOVE Wincest, love J2, like some gen, and hate Castiel with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns. Also that I am an EDG. That will make everyone happier :) There are LOTS of stories I haven't gotten to, so I'll update as I go along.

***** Awesome, will probably read again at some point.
**** Very good, glad I read it.
*** It didn't have (much) Castiel in it so yay?
** GRRRRRRRR
* What the FUCK is this BS?!
There probably won't be many of the last two since this is about fics I like, but there will be one for sure. >:(

Fic title: The Raven http://collegeboy-spn.livejournal.com/19895.html
Author name: jedisapphire
Warnings: Minor language, horror elements and violence - nothing worse than what's on the show. Spoilers through to 8.10, Torn and Frayed.

Summary: The Raven is a hotel opposite a haunted house a few miles outside Baltimore. Sam and Dean are there on a boringly routine job. Then Sam finds a package of nineteenth-century letters under a floorboard, a mysterious ghost with sad eyes insists that Dean is going to kill his brother, and the world's creepiest doctor shows up claiming he can cure Sam, who's suddenly starting to spike high fevers for no reason Dean can figure out.
***** Great story/case, and love the brothers' relationship :) A few canon issues.


Fic title: The Beat of Our Noisy Hearts http://cleflink.livejournal.com/73257.html
Author name: cleflink
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 48,000
Warnings: Magic realism, graphic descriptions of medically impossible heart care, serial killers, sex, angst

Summary: In a world where heartbreak is a literal condition, it's Jared's job to sew, fill and patch the physical wounds left in people's hearts by lost loves, misunderstandings and betrayals. Jared's own love life is mostly at the pining like a fifteen year old girl stage, largely because Jensen doesn't date and Jared doesn't do one-night stands, but he's got good friends and a job he loves, so he figures that he can't complain too much.

When a killer attacks Jensen, Jared discovers that a needle and thread, desperation and a sharp scalpel are enough to save Jensen's life, but at a cost that is going to change Jared's life forever and tie them both together in a way that goes far deeper than flesh.
*****Wonderful story. Loved it. The steampunk elements were fun, the tech and world building were well done and consistent and the characterizations were perfect. Highly recommended. Oh, and the art is beautiful too!

Fic title: The Witch Is Dead http://dear-tiger.livejournal.com/65262.html
Author name: dear_tiger
Genre: Wincest
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Warnings: horror, violence, disability (OCs), love spell, one underage kiss (Sam is 15); no underage otherwise.

Summary: In 1988, three witches in Montana are growing a monster in their garden, and Sam is holiday snack. When Dean and John show up to get him, one witch is killed, and Dean gets a love curse that he keeps secret. As teenagers Sam and Dean are living in a dying industrial town in Pennsylvania, where they come across a crooked old creature that takes an unusual interest in Dean. As adults, Sam and Dean return to Montana for a hunt and run into the two surviving witches who have been unsuccessfully trying to grow their monster. Dean, still carrying the love spell from the dead witch, is looking like perfect plant feed.
***** Interesting case and well-written. I really like Sam and Dean's relationship, it seems very true to the show.

Fic title: Courting Death http://afattribble.livejournal.com/16083.html
Author name: afattribble
Genre: Wincest
Pairing Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 50,731
Warnings: Explicit sexual content and some pretty graphic descriptions of violence. Due to its setting and the topics it deals with, there are numerous references to death and death lore.
[Spoiler (click to open)]

Summary: Sam Winchester lived the first six months of his life in a happy family; the next twelve years as John Winchester's only son, and the last decade as an orphan. He's supposed to die at twenty-two trying to save the woman he loves from a fire, because he doesn't have a brother to pull him back. But the night Sam meets his Reaper he discovers that Death is overly fond of pop-culture references, too beautiful to be real, and reluctant to kill him.
***** Great characterizations, great story. Loved it :)

Fic title: Inviting The Dawn to Break http://paper-storm88.livejournal.com/59918.html
Author name: paper_storm88
Genre: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 72,200
Warnings: mentions of past sexual abuse

Summary: When Jensen first realized he was gay, he had some silly, fairy-tale notion of meeting an amazing guy and falling in love, but then he discovered how much fun sex is and that's always been his endgame since. When he looks at Jared, he feels like he's eighteen again; starry-eyed and hopeful and dreaming of creating a life with somebody. It should be frightening him down to his core, because all those things go completely against the way he's lived his life for the past seven years. But then he remembers Jared's smile, or the way he smells, or how big he is and how good Jensen imagines he'd feel pressed up against him, and then he doesn't care about anything else anymore.
***** I haven't read this one yet, but I'm putting on the list anyway because Paperstorm is amazing and everyone should read her stories.

Fic title: The Extraordinary Experiences of An Unusual Sidekick in the City http://truelyesoteric.livejournal.com/163154.html
Author name: truelyesoteric
Genre: J2 RPS AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 44,000
Warnings: Superhero level violence

Summary: Jared Padalecki, Class Two Superhero, has lived his entire life in his small town. Another disappointing Superboyfriend is the kick that he needs to get out. He arrives in the City, expecting to be overwhelmed, instead it seems that he finds a whole new world. He finds City rules to be stricter, he finds that the caliber of the bad guys are over the top, and he finds that the other Supers are a little crazy. It seems like this world is nothing he ever wanted and everything that he needed.
***** Great story, interesting characterizations, and...well...I just really love superhero AUs, okay? Also, bonus points for truly lol wtf stunt casting.

Fic title: Chemistry http://glovered.livejournal.com/114834.html
Author name: glovered
Genre: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Word count: 20,000
Warnings:
Summary: Jensen reminds himself that there's absolutely nothing wrong with a platonic jerk-off scene between brothers. And there’s nothing platonic about his feelings for Jared.
***** I want this to be real life.

Fic title: Your Signal in the Distance http://cleflink.livejournal.com/73257.html
Author name: dugnindeep
Genre: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: graphic descriptions of murders, crime scenes, non-con touching, and stalking related to OCs; explicit sex and language; asshole(ish) Jensen, main character depression/dissociation; graphic images in the art
Summary: Life as a psychometric is more than just being a part of the Empaths. Jensen's specialty is reliving the deaths of murder victims, which does him no favors except in his job as a Special Investigator with the Homicide Division. That's why Jensen doesn't do relationships of any kind. Doesn't even try, just shuts himself off from natural emotions. He experiences enough of them at his crime scenes.

Hooking up with a stranger in a club helps to relieve the tension he carries from one murder to the next, but it complicates everything when the one-night stand, Jared, is tied to his next case. Being forced to deal with Jared cracks the facade of the well-built defenses Jensen has created to protect him from the side effects of his abilities. The way Jared slips inside overwhelms Jensen in ways he'd hadn't known were possible, so his only option is to push Jared as far away as possible. That is, until Jensen begins to really feel.
***** Interesting story and universe, good characterizations. It's sort of like a Superhero AU, which of course endears it to me :)

Fic title: Contingency Plan
Author name: gone_ashore
Rating: R
Warnings: Dean!whump, hurt/comfort, underage M/M dub-con (male prostitution)

Summary: A simple salt-and-burn gone wrong takes John away from his sons, leaving a 16-year-old Dean and 12-year-old Sam suddenly on their own. While the boys struggle to come to terms with their situation, John's unfinished hunt provides more sinister challenges. Pre-series, sort of canon-compliant, gen.
**** Interesting case/story, and certainly canon-compliant in the way Dean is treated--ie, like shit by just about everyone including himself. Breaks my heart but a good story. It looks like it's not available anymore, but if you can still find it, it's a good read.

Fic title: Devil's Disciples http://hybridshade.livejournal.com/8356.html
Author name: hybridshade
Genre: Wincest
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 35,602
Warnings: violence, some gore, explicit sex, language, vampires (kind of), bloodplay, transformation, mention of childhood traumas, incest, god-like figures

Summary: When Dean is lifted from the precipice of death by a strange figure that may not be entirely human, he finds himself thrust into a dark world of manic vampire-beasts, the warrior brothers that fight them, and Sam. There's also the matter of the newly kitted-out body he's in. It's strong, resilient and hyper-aware, but there's a couple of extra features that could still send him to an early grave.
**** I haven't read the series this is based on, but I enjoyed the story. Love the way Sam and Dean's relationship plays out and the way little bits of show canon are worked in.

Fic title: Dean Winchester vs. the World http://neppie.livejournal.com/13461.html
Author name: mishaphappens
Genre: Wincest
Pairing: Sam/Dean, Adam/Castiel
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 30,969
Warnings: swearing, slash

Summary: In order to date his brother, Dean Winchester has to defeat Sam's seven evil exes. Inspired by Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.
**** Silly. Very, very silly, and also very serious at the end. I enjoyed it quite a bit, despite the presence of Castiel, maybe because he bore so little resemblance to the char from the show. The Sam and Dean characterizations were pretty good tho, and the end is really excellent.

Fic title: Paper Trail http://archiveofourown.org/works/835321
Author name: verucasalt123 and saltandbyrne
Genre: Wincest
Pairing: Sam/Dean, brief Sam/OFC
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: underage, angst, fights and makeup sex, phone sex, rough sex

Summary: A trail of phonecalls, emails, text messages and ephemera tells the love story of Sam and Dean. Dean tries to let Sam start his life at Stanford, struggling to keep their relationship going even as their lives move down separate paths. When the fighting is done and Sam and Dean are retired together, curtains and all, they find a strange package that reminds them of everything they fought for and everything they have.
*** Very sweet, almost too sappy. Not great characterizations imo, but I like the idea of the story. Also, Castiel.

Fic title: With These Broken Wings I'm Fallin' http://slf630.livejournal.com/61895.html
Author name: slf630
Genre: Wincest
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 25,036
ningWars: AU, language, first time, explicit sex, bottom!Sam, asshole!John, non-detailed non-con (not between Sam and Dean), hurt!Sam, unknown wincest - the boys don't know they're brothers
Summary: Dean has spent his life following in his father's footsteps, hunting down evil and never getting close to anyone. All of that changes though when he meets Sam.
*** A little sappier than I usually like, but it's a trope I enjoy and John is a total asshole, so A+ there. Also, borderline curtain!fic makes me happy.


Fic title: The Silver Dragon http://firesign10.livejournal.com/1096003.html
Author name: firesign10
Genre: SPN RPF AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 40,440
Warnings: Explicit M/M sex; profanity; blatant homophobia
Summary: Jared Padalecki and Chad Michael Murray attend a karate after-school program at their junior high. It's challenging but totally fun, so when it ends after a few weeks, they sign up at the local dojo. The dojo is even more fun, especially for Jared when he falls for a gorgeous older teen who helps out there...
***

13. Fic title: Wolf Like Me http://happysgolucky.livejournal.com/3370.html
Author name: happysgolucky
Genre: RPS AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 29,993
Warnings: N/A
Summary: Werewolves and humans don't usually mix, but there are rare times when mates are found among the human population. Jared is a cocky alpha destined to take over when his father retires. He isn't interested in finding a mate at all, preferring casual hook ups over entanglements. Jensen is a human physical therapist who has no idea that werewolves exist. Destined to meet, this is their love story.
*** Read mostly because of the A/B/O dynamics. Not very plausible, but not the worst I've read by any means.

14. Fic title: Together Like the Devil and Sin http://riyku.livejournal.com/43490.html
Author name: riyku
Genre: RPS AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 28,000
Warnings: barebacking
Summary: A few nights a week, Jared lights a candle in the window and opens the doors to his speakeasy, welcoming one and all, so long as they know the password and how to keep their mouths shut. When the liquor starts to dry up and the revenuers start closing in, Jared is forced to hang all of his fortunes on Jensen, a bootlegger who offers him a lot of pretty promises and an even prettier smile. Together, they set off on a run that will take them from mountain hollows to metropolitan hideouts, from backwoods shacks to ritzy hotels and all points in between. They couldn't be more different; Jared is unassuming, low-keyed, and Jensen is as flashy as his souped-up Buick, but they soon discover that they have a lot more than moonshine in common.
***

Fic title: Black Jared and the Proper Molly http://cheebles.livejournal.com/38231.html
Author name: cheebles
Genre: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 36,000
Warnings: Explicit sex and violence, crossdressing.

Summary: The most ruthless and notorious pirate of the Caribbean, Black Jared, thought he was just getting a pretty bed warmer when he made a deal for gold and the young man's body on the deck of the British merchantman. The boy shyly succumbs to his advances one night only to turn and viciously murder a whore in a jealous rage, and ballgown, the next. Nothing could have prepared the pirate captain for the young tutor's sly intelligence or mercurial nature. At first, he rolls with the boy's changing moods, but, with his crew's warnings ringing in his ears, a time of reckoning is soon at hand.
***/**** kinda out there, but, you know, pirates. And Jensen in a dress.

15. Fic title: Wild http://keep-waking-up.livejournal.com/17595.html
Author name: keep_waking_up
Genre: RPF AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 43,082
Warnings: A/B/O, omega!Jensen, alpha!Jared, attempted non-con, BAMF!Jensen, male self-lubrication, references to mpreg, violence, minor character death, underage, some ableist language by secondary characters

Summary: After the loss of their Alpha and several other pack members, Jensen's pack is left floundering without a leader. Jensen is lost on his own; not only has he lost his father, the Alpha, but he does not know what his place in the pack is. As a rare Omega, no one has treated him the same since he matured, and he doesn't know what his future will be. When he accidentally gets himself mated to the new pack-Alpha, Jared, Jensen has to figure out what he wants from Jared, the pack, and himself. And quickly, because there is a new pack moving into their territory that does not have good intentions in mind.
***
16. Fic title: Trust Issues
Author name: vambrace
Genre: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 40,557
Warnings: Underage sex, rape, graphic sex, h/c, slavery themes, angst, torture NSFW, Jensen has black eyes

Summary: Jared receives a very frightened and defiant Jensen as a fourteenth birthday gift. Once Jensen learns that Jared doesn't plan to rape him, he relaxes and a real relationship develops. On the day before Jared's eighteenth birthday, Jensen is sold off-planet against Jared's wishes. Can Jared find Jensen?
***/****

Fic title: Beneath the Red Hill http://sowell.livejournal.com/78240.html
Author name: sowell
Artist name: sarahtoga
Genre: Wincest and oh look DEAN HATE
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 21,000
Warnings: Violence, language, dub-con

Summary: Five years ago, Sam Winchester failed the final trial, sending both brothers to opposite sides of the country. When Dean vanishes without a trace, Sam must figure out how to find his estranged brother and save a small town from the serial killer that's been terrorizing it.
** God damn Dean, saving Sam's life again...How dare he?! Such a fucking asshole. <--Would be a better summary. :(


Fic title: Riders on the Storm
Author name: zempasuchil
Genre: Wincest with a side of I HATE SAM
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 41,500
Warnings: Underage (Sam is 17.) Brief suicidal ideation.

Summary: Bottled up in a borrowed Sierra Nevada cabin while their father chases demonic omens, Sam and Dean have nothing to do but hunt strange beasts and mess around with each other. Each tells himself it doesn't mean anything, but when the weeks are over and Sam announces he's leaving for Stanford, everything including their relationship falls apart. Years later, Jess dies tragically and Sam leaves Stanford with Dean to find their dad. Dean is Sam's anchor in the ocean of Sam's grief, but soon Sam starts suspecting that he's holding too close, wanting too much. Meanwhile, Dean has repented of what happened that summer and rebuffs Sam, but deep down neither can shake his less-than-brotherly feelings. When Dean exchanges his soul for Sam's life, Sam is determined not to let Dean die, or let their desires go unresolved. On the trail of the Wild Hunt, during a last-ditch effort to save Dean from hell, the crackling tension between Sam and Dean finally comes to a head.

* I got less than halfway through this story before giving up in fury. Sam comes on to/pushes Dean into sexual contact even tho he suspects Dean doesn't really want it, because he's leaving for Stanford so what does it matter if it messes Dean up? His actual thoughts are, I'll take what I want because I'm leaving anyway. He does this TWICE before the story is half done. FUCK NO, AUTHOR.

Fic title: how the mighty fall (in love)
Author name: cosmo_naught
Genre: wincest with a side of I HATE DEAN
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 25,000
Warnings: slightly grisly, but pretty much on-par with the show. lots of language, including colloquialisms for sex workers. there's passing mention of Sam/Ruby, Dean/Lisa, and Sam/Amelia—no more than a few lines each.

Summary: So picture this: it's 2007, Dean just sold his soul, and the brothers Winchester are hunting what they think is a vengeful spirit when Dean gets kidnapped, and they realize just how deep their codependence runs. In the aftermath, Sam and Dean deal with things the only way they know how (i.e very poorly). Then Dean goes to hell, things get messy, Sam thinks Dean's forgotten all about their night together...couple that with a case that ends up spanning half a decade, the most epic crossroads in the nation, a smattering of reoccurring characters, and you've got yourself a story for the ages.

* Another one I couldn't even finish because of the BLATANT Dean hate. GEEZ DEAN IT WAS JUST 40 YEARS OF HELL HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALLOUS AND MEAN TO SAM? CAN'T YOU SEE HE'S SUFFERING?! <--would be a better summary.

What you will find here:
Stories I liked. I haven’t read all of the BBs for each year, or even most of them. I haven’t even read all the ones that look good. I generally only read slash, so fair warning—if it’s listed here chances are someone is having sex with someone else eventually. Most likely it will be Sam and Dean or Jared and Jensen. I'm also a fan of happy endings. Particular favorites are marked with an *.

What you WON’T find here:
Impreg, het, death fic, anything involving Castiel as a major character, gen. Also, I’m not a huge angst fan so there’s not an overabundance of that. Hopefully you also won’t find excessive typos, bizarre ooc behavior or storylines that generally don’t make sense because those things drive me nuts.

J2

The Idle Job
http://kelleigh.livejournal.com/320122.html

Stockholm
http://kenda1l.livejournal.com/4859.html

Seek to Know No More*
http://chiiyo86.livejournal.com/35219.html

When You Move I Move With You*
http://mina-rox.livejournal.com/8652.html

Hewitched
http://lizzywinks.livejournal.com/17549.html

Clueless 2.0
http://caliofthecastle.livejournal.com/8251.html#cutid1

Reddish Gold and Caramel
http://princess-indira.livejournal.com/17844.html

Love and Otter Disasters
http://butterflywrites.livejournal.com/39132.html


Sam/Dean
Put You Down for a While
I also recommend the others in this series…in fact they should probably be read first.
http://rockstarpeach.livejournal.com/108247.html

A List of Typos Made by God
This story comes very close to exceeding the angst quota for the rest of my life.
http://infatuated-ink.livejournal.com/60451.html

Welcome to Sunrise Acres*
http://dragonspell.livejournal.com/164398.html

Under My Skin*********
http://yourkidney.livejournal.com/27595.html

Psych 101
http://katiebugs18.livejournal.com/28906.html

The Allegory of the Cave
http://tryfanstone.livejournal.com/101605.html

Flying Weight*
http://fleshflutter.livejournal.com/182538.html

The Piper*
http://gretazreta.livejournal.com/125116.html

Checkmate Ends the Game

Hearthstone
http://mollyamory.livejournal.com/40920.html

First time recs to go with that lovely soundtrack that's been making the rounds lately.
General warnings--all of these fics are:
NC-17
Wincest

In addition, Don't Step on the Grass, Alone in the Dark and Take You Down and Make You Mine all contain underage (Sam is 16-17)

AND *blushes* I added in two of mine. The last two that are under cuts. Alone in the Dark was one of the first things I ever wrote so...just consider yourself warned lol

Keep Our Minds on the Sum of Each Other
http://lazy-daze.livejournal.com/452858.html

While His Hands are Busy
http://regala-electra.livejournal.com/353531.html

Deeper Than Blood
http://nyxocity.livejournal.com/28596.html
No actual sex in this one but the soundtrack would work oh so very well with it anyway....

You're Possessing Me
http://nyxocity.livejournal.com/10994.html

Vaccinium Cyanococcus
http://nomelon.livejournal.com/71063.html

Everything I want is nothing but you
http://mickeym.livejournal.com/1204768.html

Don't Step on the Grass, Sam
http://pinkwithoutplot.livejournal.com/6880.html

Title: Take you down and make you mine
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: First time preseries Wincest (Sam is around 16), spanking, fingering
Summary: Dean decides to teach Sam a lesson. Turns out he's the one with something to learn.
A/N: I originally wrote this for a blindfold prompt that has since disappeared (I guess it was deleted?). Oh well.


( Read more... )


Title: Alone in the dark, all I want is you
Author: Kelios
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Explicit underage wincest, language, PWP
Spoilers: None
Summary: Sam wants Dean and doesn't know what to do about it.  John leaves them alone as a test and Sam figures it out.

( Read more... )

Title: Just the Two of Us
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Wincest (Sam/Dean), very rough, graphic m/m sex, extremely vague spoilers for S7
Disclaimer: Sadly, still not mine.
Summary/prompt: Pain reminds Sam of what's real, but it's better when Dean does it. Blindfold request for rough sex, knifeplay, breathplay, marks Sam can use to keep his hallucinations at bay.
A/N: I failed to include any knifeplay or breathplay, but I think I hit the rest of it pretty well.


( Read more... )

Prompt: Supernatural, Sam/Dean, driving through to woods enjoying the fall colors
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: vague descriptions of m/m sex, Wincest



( Read more... )

http://drawincest.livejournal.com/

I'm nearly as excited about this as the ep last night! I can't wait to see the posts!

Supernatural, Sam/Dean, kink

Closed eyes, parted lips
"Do you trust me?" whispersoft
Never any doubt.

Supernatural, any, mindgames

Stairway to Heaven
That leads me right back to Hell
Please God let me sleep.

any/any, "I do"
Supernatural Sam/Dean

Words they'll never say
No need. Brother, lover, friend
All they ever want.

any, any mirror, mirror on the wall

Beautiful Disaster
So pretty on the outside
Darkness underneath

Copied from [info]naamah_darling

Please, please, please spread the word about this:

Paypal Strongarms Indie Ebook Publishers Over Erotic Content

Because, y'all? I have seen zero people, zero, on my f-list talk about it. Two people on Facebook. Granted, I've been dealing with this shit while very upset and my memory is not the greatest on the best of days, so I might have missed something, but still, this is unacceptable. Y'all care. I know you do. So please spread the word. If you can't do anything else, cut and paste and link back here.

I have been so tired, and so demoralized, and so, so hoping that someone else would have the spoons to speak up about this, to start the push back. Hoping that big-name authors would take notice, would care, would make the articulate, well-researched, exhaustively linked posts that help get people centered around an issue . . . the kind of posts that I am too busy just trying to survive to make in a timely fashion. And it's not happening. No letter-writing campaigns, no petitions, no call to arms.

Folks, that call to arms needs to happen. This is going to really hurt people like me, like my husband, who make our money writing erotica that brushes up against the bars. And by hurt, I mean this is how we pay for our heat, this is how we pay for our food, this is how we pay for my medication, this is how we scrape by. I don't mean "This is how we pay for our research vacations to Brazil." I am talking the basics of survival, here. I am not fucking around.

And if you don't give a shit about one crazy pornographer in the middle of nowhere, well, okay, fine. Be selfish. No, really. This will affect you. It has the potential to affect everyone. Every reader, every writer, if their interests verge even a little bit into grey territory.

And folks? A tremendous amount of fiction goes there. Stories and novels and anthologies by popular and award-winning authors like Neil Gaiman and Terri Windling and Laurell K. Hamilton and Sarah Monette and Cat Valente and on and on A through fucking Z would be right the fuck out. Also, the Bible. Not that I personally give a flying fuck, but it's ironically on the list of shit that you couldn't buy through PayPal, if they had to adhere to their own rules.

Mark Coker's first email from Smashwords explained:

Today we are modifying our Terms of Service to clarify our policies regarding erotic fiction that contains bestiality, rape and incest. . . .

I've had multiple conversations with PayPal over the last several days to better understand their requirements. Their team has been helpful, forthcoming and supportive of the Smashwords mission. I appreciate their willingness to engage in dialogue. Although they have tried their best to delineate their policies, gray areas remain.

Their hot buttons are bestiality, rape-for-titillation, incest and underage erotica.



Which all sounds pretty indefensible, but:

A) It's all ill-defined.

This applies to all incest, including step-relations, and is so ill-defined that it might apply to distant cousins. Goodbye, realistic depictions of inbreeding in noble families throughout history.

This applies to all "rape for titillation," which is so ill-defined that it might apply to romance-novel bodice-ripping, and it applies to all "non-consensual BDSM" which, while that should certainly be illegal in real life, is also ill-defined, and might be stretched to cover all sorts of situations. I'm personally into BDSM in real life and I can tell you that most people are remarkably closed-minded about BDSM and have demonstrated a particularly atrocious track record at recognizing that there even is a distinction between consensual and nonconsensual BDSM. People who don't like it don't like it in any form, and they will try to shove it all into the box marked "rape."

This applies to all "bestiality," which specifically excludes fully-shifted shapeshifters and is furthermore so ill-defined that it might apply to gorgons, centaurs, sphinxes, and other mythical beasts that possess animal or partially animal bodies and human-level consciousness.

B) We have to defend the indefensible, even if we do not like it. I don't care if it is the absolute worst and most horrible thing you have ever seen in your life, it is not PayPal's job to tell us what we can and cannot do with our money. If it is not against the law to buy or create it in the United States, i.e., if it is protected under freedom of speech, nobody has the right to tell us that we cannot create it or sell it or buy it. Not PayPal, not the banks, not Santa Claus, nobody.*



This started with Smashwords. I want to be clear, here, that Smashwords is not the villain, and Mark Coker has been working tirelessly to achieve some sort of détente whereby we can all carry on and profit without too much disruption. He despises the idea of censorship, but severing relations with PayPal would take time, and some sort of solution must be found in the meantime so that authors, who need to get paid by Smashwords, can keep selling. He is doing exactly the right thing, and I fully support his approach.

It started with Smashwords, but it won't end with Smashwords.

True, the big-name authors that you are likely to care about far more than you care about me and the rest of my porn-spewing ilk mostly don't publish through Smashwords, though some make their backlist available there. No, you probably aren't paying through PayPal when you buy their books. But this isn't just about who-gives-a-shit indie authors writing their dirty stepdaddy porn.

It is about PayPal. PayPal says this is the banks' fault. That it's the banks putting pressure on them, so they're pressuring Smashwords and other indie outfits. And if that's true, we have a major fucking problem, because banks should not and cannot be allowed to do that. If that's true, that connection needs to be dragged into the light so that everyone can see it for what it is.

Even if it's not true and it's just some asshole at PayPal with a burr up his ass, we have a major fucking problem. PayPal is huge, and the revenue streams for thousands of independent artists and authors get funneled through it. If they start telling us what we can and cannot put out there to sell, what we can and cannot buy, well . . . if you can't see there's a huge problem there, I honestly don't know if I can help you, and you might want to just go lie down for a while and hope the denseness passes.

So I am asking you: please spread the word, please get people talking about this, please keep your readers, even if there are only two, abreast of this issue. And please, if you're an author with one of the big publishing houses, please, please post about this. In fact, if you know such an author, please ask them to post about it.

I am not advocating spamming authors. I don't want to make people mad. But I want this exposed. I want people talking about this. I want acknowledgement from big-name authors that this shit matters, and I want to know that they are behind us, the way we have been behind them as fans and fellow authors.

I am just asking that if you have a means of politely contacting them and asking them to weigh in on the issue, you do so. Twitter is good, comments are good, emails are good. Whatever, even if it's just a retweet. Please.

This is not just about incestuous underage dog-rape porn, okay? Who the hell would rally to protect that? Nobody. Which is the problem, here. People glance at the issue and they see indefensible garbage, and they move on.

That is a smokescreen! This is not about that crap. This is about people with no familiarity with genre fiction, with erotica, with the outer boundaries of sexual fantasy, being allowed to dictate how we express ourselves. This is about those people deciding where the line gets drawn between okay and not okay. This is not a new thing, though this crackdown is new, a new push against "obscene" content that previously nobody gave a shit about. They've already proven that they decide where the line is and that they can move it anytime they like; that they are doing this represents a shifting of that line. This is about being told what we can and cannot publish, and can and cannot buy. It affects everyone. And that should scare the shit out of you.

And while we're at it, let's discuss that indefensible incestuous underage dog-rape porn. It's sick, and I don't write it, and I don't want to read it, and if a given indie self-pub outlet wants to say "we will not allow people to publish that through us" I suppose I am very grudgingly okay with that. But if a bank – and that is really how PayPal works, as a bank for e-commerce – wants to tell me that I cannot buy that stuff, THAT IS NOT OKAY. I will spend my money any goddamned fucking way I see fit. They have crossed the line. We need to unfuck this situation.

And, final note, we need to discuss how to support independent authors and artists through this, because boycotting PayPal is going to hurt us. Frankly, I have no idea how to go about this, I am barely able to keep my own head above water, let alone think long and hard about how to fix the sinking ship, but I sure as shit hope that we can. I'm willing to suffer for the cause, yes, but I am not willing to go without my drugs for however long this would take to settle out. So we need to be talking about how to take care of one another, how to support each other, while still effecting change.

I entered into the devil's bargain with PayPal because I had no other choice. No, you in the back smugly stroking your sense of superiority through your fashionably unfashionable pants, I did not have another choice. I needed, and still need, to make money, and that means 1) getting my stuff in front of people and 2) making it easy for those people to pay me for it. That is what sites like Etsy and Smashwords do. They make it easy for me to get my stuff out there and get it sold and get myself paid. As I have said repeatedly over the past few days, I cannot afford to abstain on principle. They are a luxury I am too poor and too screwed and too uninsured and too mentally ill to afford. I don't make much off my bargain with this company, but I need every fucking penny of it. So much so that I am terrified that if I post this, PayPal will suspend my account as punishment. Because I can't afford for that to happen. I need the security they allow me to provide for myself.

What I do not need? This five-day headache with PayPal's name on it. The indifference of people – big-name, small-name, no-name – whose voices, if raised, could maybe make a difference. The assumption that indie publishing isn't important and that stuff put out through independent channels isn't any good and that I must, therefore, be trying to defend something worthless and indefensible. The assumption that this is only about indie publishing, and the assumption that this is only about porn – really sick porn at that.

This is about freedom, and for some of us, it is about survival.

Paypal email addresses and phone numbers, should you wish to talk about this with someone there. This is old info -- if anyone has anything better, I will post that instead -- but it's better than the on-site contact stuff, which is routed through overseas response centers. Please speak out, BE POLITE, be articulate, be reasonable, and be firm.

FYI, I will be moderating comments on this post with a heavy hand. I doubt it will be necessary, but I want productive conversation, not bickering. If you don't agree that this is a problem, I ask politely that you move on. We've nothing to say to one another.

Also, yes, I swear a lot. If you feel inclined to say that this is hurting my case, I invite you to think very carefully about the core of this issue, and what relevance it may have to what you are about to say.

* I am not arguing with anyone about whether or not PayPal has the right, as a private company, to make up bullshit rules. They technically do, but they have a virtual monopoly on payments made through the internet, they are deeply connected to the big banks, and allowing them to do this sets a hideously dangerous precedent. If the government cannot censor or suppress "obscene" content without those uppity free-speechers getting all riled up, well, private companies can do it. Right? Yeah. I'm not on board with that.

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